dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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