Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
