I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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