Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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