im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
