i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize