So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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