I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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