I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
