This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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