i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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