How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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