What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
