Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
