I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
