WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize