Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
