omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
