i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
