i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
