is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Randomize
