can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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