can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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