Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
