when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
there is glitter all over my balls
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
