chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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