I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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