She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize