just come out here and I will go home with you...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize