he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
