I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
