one might say we're banned from that church
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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