Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
