Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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