Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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