i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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