just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
