So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
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