where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
