my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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