Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
