i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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