Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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