then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
they're like a gay fantastic four
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm always down for nudity.
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