so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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