i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I am mentally ready for anal.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize