Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
