Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
