In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
