I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
