i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
