Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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