dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
