My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
