If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
