You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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