first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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