Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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