They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
