I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize