I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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