too bad you live with your parents still
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize