I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
