hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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