I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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