i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
