she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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