In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
