I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize