Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
