Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
