Your mouth is God's brothel.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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