just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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